Insert.gun.into.mouth.

Posted in Uncategorized on December 16, 2010 by Robert Dean

Lately, things have sucked.
Writing, submitting, editing, the whole process has been like one, long cock punching session. No one is willing to give a writer a chance anymore. It blows. I sit up for hours trying to build little industry bridges and while some are going quite well, others, not so much. I dunno, it’s all so frustrating. I haven’t felt like living lately, not like suicidal living, I’m more esoteric than that. Just doing stuff hanging out. I want to write and get my book into someone’s hands. I love that the great addage of the business is that a lot of writers aren’t willing to get out and promote. On my end, that’s bullshit. I can think of a million ways to promote and get my name as big as possible.

Editors aren’t willing to work on a story anymore, they want instant cock throbbing hand jobs.


New little piece

Posted in Uncategorized on December 14, 2010 by Robert Dean

A blue tipped magic marker spins between Fox’s fingers, a habit from his days spent behind a drum kit. Pictures of the girls are scattered all over the top of his desk as the books purchased at the Voodoo shop sit open and full of blue marks. His coffee cup is empty and his feet ache from constant movement and lack of sleep. His eyes race over the words of in the books as he flips from section to section educating himself on matters he never, in his wildest dreams ever cared to know about. Things like the average violent street death seem so timid compared to the grisly events that have happened through the centuries.

“Gilles De Rais. Killed for practicing sorcery, sadism, cannibalism, vampirism and necrophilia. Fucking wonderful.”
Fox rubs his face. He can feel the day’s stubble starting to get thicker as the afternoon wears on. He eyes his pack of cigarettes and then the closed door a few feet in front of his desk. Pulling one out, his lips wrap around the filter like a strippers legs around a lonely bachelor’s head, her pussy hungry for the crumpled dollar in his shaking hand. As the fire of the flame kisses the nicotine, the rush of smoke floods into his mouth like a wave of caustic, gray death as he reads another selection of the degradation of mankind. People are fucking sick.
“Marquis de Sade published erotic writings, that gave rise to the term sadism – enjoyment of cruelty, which first made it into a dictionary in 1834. His works have been seen as exploration of sexual and political freedom, and on the other hand he was a multiple rapist, torturer, and proto-murderer.”
The ticks of the clock send his mind into a lull as the pages of the book starts to blur. Getting up out of his car, he sighs and grabs his coat, it’s lunchtime.
“This is a fucking joke. Vampires, werewolves, guys who explore “sexual” freedom, where’s willy wonka hiding at in this fucking cartoon?”

Snippet from IN THE ARMS OF NIGHTMARES

Posted in Uncategorized on December 9, 2010 by Robert Dean

This is from the novel I am currently trying to publish. If you’ve got an in somewhere, send em’ my way.

Sleep. The only escape. In dreams, he did not have to see anyone or talk to them. He did not have to see tongues wagging inside jaws while hearing audio slurs that bounced inside of his head. Every night he hoped his eyes would not open the next morning.
Dreams had become Arthur’s coffin. Every night he shut the lid and watched them become more surreal. His dreams took him to a situation much different than the pile of shit he woke up to every morning. Gone were the once happy dreamscapes of youth or at least ones that bore no scars on his mind when he slept.

Tossing and turning, body wet from sweat, his mind ran hurdles. His mind was on fire, feeling the finality of an unfamiliar set of hands crushing at all sides. Colors and shapes shifted. Visions of a grim reality stood before him, no love and no hope. Like a photographer, the illusions flashed hard and fast. Scenes flew like gunshots. White-hot and fast. His teeth grinded into dust. White knuckles clenched the sides of the blanket.

Music played unlike any other he had ever known, frantic and fast. The notes were vicious and unexplainable, played by the calculating hands of the Devil. With detailed speed and agility, the notes soaked through Arthur.
His mind traveled into the dark abyss. Further and further he fell down the rabbit hole. Was he about to follow the white rabbit or find himself in the court of the queen of hearts, waiting to lose his head? The looking glass had now shattered.

Faces blurred into Technicolor as the notes only altered the shapes of the visions. Flashing further and faster, everything mixed into a bold, insidious panorama. Despair, a feeling of hopelessness, trapped inside of his shell. He continued the descent.
Blazing horns playing, his mind continued to throb. The crushing pain, it never stopped, it only grew harder and faster. Just like the music. Now, instead of colors and shapes that were incomprehensible, pictures and sights were a part of the maelstrom. Screams laced the top of horns. Blood-curdling howls stabbed like knives. Everything swirled like water going down a drain.

An image of the Pope standing inside of a grand cathedral, dressed in his shining papal whites with his arms outstretched, dictating to the masses, his eyes burning with blood. The Great Leader of the Church. Deep within his toothy smile Arthur saw the lakes of hell, a sinister detail. With passionate screams, he mused for the strict death of all those who spoke against the doctrine of the faith. This was the name of the Lord. Thy will be done. The living voice of God morphed into something else, a new realm of desolation, and every image bleaker than the one that came before it. The pain still raged inside his brain.
Faceless men stood above cribs with knives pointed downward. Their arms moved like clinical robotic appendages as they destroyed the bodies below.

Slaughterhouses followed. White tiled walls stained. Hanging meat, still alive, screaming as the workers blew through their brains with a metal rod or slid a large knife across their necks. Ending the existence of numerous livestock and never blinking an eye at the carnage surrounding.
The empty monotony of the lifeless workers, their eyes held a burning red fire within the pupils. A different red, unlike the blood pools deep set within the sockets of the pope.
The music still played faster. The scenes manifested into an engrossing picture. Arthur’s intestines started to expand and contract from the pain crippling his body.

Parades of children in Halloween masks stalked the streets. The living vampire-like gaze in their eyes haunted him. Demons and ghouls, witches and werewolves, screaming with delight. Zombies and skeletons danced. People locked doors and closed their blinds in a hurry as the throngs of evil passed. Despair. The bodies of comrades lying in caskets in front of crying mothers, families paralyzed by grief.

He saw them now dead, the maggots falling out of eye sockets as they adjusted their sight. Calling him, they limped with every movement. Blood spilled.
Sweat oozed out of Arthur faster, furthering the salt content upon his flesh, salivating the mouths of the insects who buzzed happily nearby. His body lunged up and down in emotional exorcism. Arthur’s eyes flew open, but not awake. His heart was exploding. His moment to die was present while lost in a sea of dreams. Breathing stopped. His body heaved. Faster, the music still played, the pain grew to a great crescendo of noise.

The sound was superb and chaotic, erotic and sanctified all at one moment. Grand orgasms of chaos, a pure lucid gorgeous cocktail of the senses, like sex and death rolled into a joint and smoked. And then there was nothing.
No sight, and no sound. There, he stood, in a room of tranquility and evil. He was staring straight into the eyes of the lone enemy of God. The room shrank, and came into view; he stood in the presence of Lucifer.
The very muse of the wicked had shown his face and never looked more beautiful. Not the horned creature the world is taught to believe, but an angel with a crown of fire.
A hideous scar streaked across his right cheek but still remained a beautiful creature. His eyes were anemic and black, like pools of vaporous sin.

Lucifer’s grand council flanked him at either side: Mammon stood alongside Beelzebub to the right with Belial and Moloch to the left of their leader. Nodding with acceptance, the concil’s eyes scanned the mortal. In front of Arthur Reilly stood the most evil the world has ever known. His mind began to throb again; his body froze and he fell to the ground. Black air seeped into his lungs, an ocean swallowing his body. He tried to scream, his mouth would not move. Lips sewn shut.
Minutes hung in the air like nooses from trees waiting for the next neck to feed upon.
And, in all the chaos, it stopped. It was over. Morning. He was particularly alive and awoken to the sound of Jones urinating on the side of his tent.

“Fuck man, bad dream? You look like shit like you ain’t slept in a month, bro. And you look like you just hopped out the ocean. Do you feel ok? Cause you sure as fuck don’t look alright. Drink some water or something. Damn. Your hair is soaking. I bet your tent smells like a pair of fuckin’ balls.” said Jones, taking a step back.

“I’m fine. Just a bad night. I didn’t sleep well. The heat kept me up.”
“Damn, I can tell. You should try to get some more leaves and block out the sun. Try to sleep dude. You look like shit, and that ain’t a joke. What’s the point in trying to travel when the fearless leader looks like hell?”

Swaying, Arthur tried to maintain balance like a drunk who had not left the bar stool in days. Saying nothing was easier than any possible explanation he could have tried to give. He resigned himself back to the tent and sat shaking.
The day would prove to be more colorful than expected; now he had to piss. Trying to stand up, his head felt full of sand. His body drooped under the pressure. Falling to his knees, he vomited profusely.

After a disturbing amount of liquids and digested food had reached their new home via oral expulsion, Arthur looked up into the sky with eyes full of tears and passed out. The others stood around, staring at one another, scratching their heads at what just happened. For two solid days, Arthur slept. Each soldier taking a watch to make sure nothing strange happened. When Arthur finally woke, he rolled over like he had just taken the most refreshing afternoon nap in his lifetime. He felt great.

Stepping out of the tent like a butterfly leaves the cocoon, Arthur was anew. The sun was setting to his back; like staring down a long, dark hallway. The scene came into focus. Jones sat by the fire flipping through a dog-eared copy of Milton’s “Paradise Lost.” Reading passages, lost in the ancient verbiage and dialect.

“Thy words, creator bounteous and benign giver of all things fair,” Jones said aloud, to no one in particular. Arthur stared, hearing the old text of the Antichrist and his fallen angels.
Mixed with his dreams, it was too much to take. It sent shivers down his spine just hearing him speak the words of what he had seen.

“That’s some heavy shit right there: by virtue of the angels who’ve fallen, let me, the Shepherd lead you to the kingdom of God,” Arthur said, sitting down next to Jones.
Jones, taking notice, set his book down, taking a look at his friend.
“Artie, you know you just slept for like two full days. We were starting to think you’d gone into a coma or some shit.”
Scratching his head, Arthur looked confused.
“It didn’t feel like I’d been asleep that long but, I’m starving and had to pee.”

Feeling like time was wasted, all had agreed to go through the night. They were all well rested; it would not be an issue to walk in the darkness. Arthur packed his things, his mind filled with what he had seen in his dreams. You never remember dreams but can’t forget a nightmare. Which was it?
Everything so vivid, as it would be in real life, questions mounted further. A dream that could not be forgotten, real as the trees he passed through into the night. Real as the hissing of serpents that slithered away from the feet that passed through their forest kingdom. They moved through the darkness, under the cover of night.

The sounds of the jungle at night rang out louder, and more disturbing at these hours.
Arthur wondered why they had never done this before; it was easier to cover more ground this way. If they traveled at this pace regularly, they would have made it to a town long ago. Chalk it up to ignorance. With his body back under the weight of gear, the sense of hopelessness lifted. Now, it was a sense of urgency.

The sounds in his head no longer scared him. The screams, the laughter. He did not see the world as he had two days ago. All the things he saw, he wanted to kill. Nothing stood alive with purpose, aside from his own personal need to kill it. His bullets had a motive.
Each time he killed it was no longer for Uncle Sam. Never a man of God to begin with, he now saw the world with different eyes. Jesus had never spoken to him—as much as his mother wanted him to, he did not.

As every man hopes for His words to touch their hearts, Arthur knew it was bullshit. What he saw was real, and it did not scare him. It entitled him.
The bulk of his machine gun used to be obtuse and awkward, a silent responsibility of being a solider. Now it was his personal death machine. He tickled the trigger, waiting and watching every movement of everything around.

Arthur’s eyes searched for a reason to fire his weapon. A flickering light came through the trees. All the men came closer, hoping it was another band of Americans out as they were. Closer they drew to the campsite, trying not to make any sudden movements or sounds. In the distance, they saw a fire and men arguing in the familiar sound of Japanese.
It was his lucky day, or more properly, lucky night. Slow and quiet, they took cover and looked over what they saw. It was a smaller encampment of men.

They wondered if it were a team sent out to look for rogue groups like theirs. Seven two-man pup tents set in circles around the fire. Time for revenge. With bated breath, they held their triggers. They waited till the last man went into his tent.
Arthur stood at the head of the little group of misfit soldiers.

it’s been a while.

Posted in Uncategorized on December 9, 2010 by Robert Dean

I just wrote this and really liked it.

“Look, I get it. I’m a little out of touch. I’m learning a lot about things I never had to deal with. This part of the city doesn’t give us much trouble aside from the drunks or the frat boys; the locals know their role and keep quiet. Working downtown is a vacation compared to other parishes. You don’t have to go to your boss and explain to him you’ve got a car full of dead bodies filled with bullet holes and a dozen people saw it happen and you can’t get one witness to make a statement worth a fuck. Not one. You sell candles and bags of shit to tourists from Kentucky while I have to examine how a bullet ripped apart a 9 year olds skull because daddy was drunk and had a bad day. I’ve seen so much fucked up shit it would make your heart stop. You ever seen a body swell up in the Louisiana heat? If you kill someone and let them sit in the sun, say, in August? For a few days, let em’ get nice and ripe.
Let the gasses inside bubble and boil in the tropical heat, let it fester as the body decomposes. The body will look like Violet Beauregard from Willy Wonka, all huge and purply blue. A big, nasty ball. But what’s worse is that the slightest touch to ole’ violet results in the most foul smell on earth because she’ll pop like a country tick. And you don’t want to be there when that happens. If the body pops, the clothes you’re wearing a ruined. Can’t save em’.
Wrap the day up and throw them in the trash. No salvation. The smell of a festering body is that bad. It smells like the nastiest pile of dog shit you’ve ever encountered on a hot summer day times infinity covered in seventy dead rats all swimming in vomit from a homeless aids patient.
That fucking bad. Imagine some nice roasting internal organs that have been reduced to liquid splattering everything in a 3 feet radius. Coagulated blood spraying you in the face and all that will be left is a corpse that looks like a deflated balloon at a kid’s party, cept’ there ain’t no clowns around. Now, you tell me if I’ve had time to keep up with my vampires.

HELP ME GET PUBLISHED

Posted in Uncategorized on October 7, 2010 by Robert Dean

I’ve spent the last four years working on my book “In The Arms of Nightmares” and it’s been a long, hard road through Hell, considering a great deal of agents only want YA right now because everything is getting turned into movies, apparently. I’m hoping I can find some people with like minded taste who want to help see my Serial killing creation Arthur, make into some pages and into some excited hands.
So far, it’s been nothing but roadblocks or emails saying, “Well, the writing is good, and the story is original, but I don’t know if I can sell it in today’s market”. What, exactly is today’s market? I’m not a fifteen year old anymore and when I was, I wasn’t reading about dragons or steampunk. I was reading Stephen King and Edgar Allan Poe.

Anyhow, here’s my new query:

Behind the black and white snapshots of VE-Day celebrations and after the roar of the swinging trumpets dies down, a madman hunts his prey. Arthur Reilly hears jazz when he kills. Bebop is his sound of murder.

He sees souls exit bodies and can speak to them. Louie Armstrong, the sparkling voice of God. Miles Davis is the blue-toned growl of the devil. After being visited by a murderous angel, Arthur is set on a path of destruction with one goal in mind: get out of town and go where passion birthed music and murder, the one place that will set his soul free: New Orleans, The City of the Dead.

Until then, his life is a mess. His drinking is out of hand. Chloe, the dead French girl, continues to haunt him. Arthur’s mind is an abstract gallery of death and music—but where deviance reigns, his genius is awakened. However, as head chef at the best restaurant in town, it’s hard to keep out of the bright lights of high society—and it’s even harder to kill unnoticed.

IN THE ARMS OF NIGHTMARES is complete at 85,465 words.

kidcarre@gmail.com

Can’t win em all

Posted in Uncategorized on September 6, 2010 by Robert Dean

Writing has had a wonderful knack at depressing me as of late. I have nothing else to report at this time. Also, I’m listening to a commercial about using dirty catheters. Welcome to my shitty life.

So it goes.

Posted in Uncategorized on August 27, 2010 by Robert Dean

Writing is hard. We all have something we suck at. Tense is my area of shittyness. I’ve spent a long time on Arthur and now I’ve gotta go back through line by line and edit him. Again. It’s frustrating back its part of the gig. Also, I’m Blogging from my phone, which is gonna fucking rule for my output.

New Query and sample of story!

Posted in Uncategorized on August 26, 2010 by Robert Dean

My new sales pitch!

Behind the black and white snapshots of VE-Day celebrations and after the roar of the swinging trumpets dies down, a madman hunts his prey. Arthur Reilly hears jazz when he kills. Bebop is his sound of murder.

He sees souls exit bodies and can speak to them. Louie Armstrong, the sparkling voice of God. Miles Davis is the blue-toned growl of the devil. After being visited by a murderous angel, Arthur is set on a path of destruction with one goal in mind: get out of town and go where passion birthed music and murder, the one place that will set his soul free: New Orleans, The City of the Dead.

Until then, his life is a mess. His drinking is out of hand. Chloe, the dead French girl, continues to haunt him. Arthur’s mind is an abstract gallery of death and music—but where deviance reigns, his genius is awakened. However, as head chef at the best restaurant in town, it’s hard to keep out of the bright lights of high society—and it’s even harder to kill unnoticed.

And here’s a sample of the story. Also, I really like comments on stuff. Like, a lot.

I

The infancy of decay.

Arthur Reilly stood at his bathroom sink with his mouth foaming of cleanliness, he could feel the baking soda-infused toothpaste between canines; it tingled. The back of his throat bubbled when he touched the edge of the tongue with the tip of the brush, nearly making him vomit.

Spitting the refuse into the bowl, he noticed a few streaks of red mixing with the used gray of hygiene. The blood wasn’t from gum disease from a lack of oral hygiene, but from a shard of bone stuck between teeth. Tossing the toothbrush into the drawer, his eyes met the image in the mirror. Cold and soulless eyes stared back. A splash of water across his face and some wet fingers through his mess of scalp, Arthur was almost ready for the day. Routine. Routine. Routine.

His attention fell to the reflection of a body lying in the corner, near the tub.

Her face destroyed and beaten, the fragile frame covered in blueish-purple bruises and odd slashes and cuts. Where eyes should have been were now gaping sockets. The face of a sad, rotting pumpkin left to the elements after Halloween.

There was still much to do with her.

His eyes fell off the body and up to the clock on the wall. Time to get to work. He hoped it would be a slow day.  Slow days meant he could leave a little early and get things done at home.

As head chef at Garrison’s, the best steak house in the city, Arthur had to shine. Everything he cooked had to taste perfect and everything had to be perfect.

He cooked for the social elite, from congressmen and ball players to pin up movie stars, and all high society in between. Money was to be made and Garrison’s catered to the clients who had it. If it wasn’t amazing, it wasn’t going out to the guest. Once a wedding had forgone the usual bland catering for their reception, only to request Arthur and his staff to cook for the party and their guests. Quite the task and very expensive, and Arthur’s boss was more than happy to accommodate.

Seventy-five meals and a truckload of stress later, Arthur was still trying his hardest to entertain as they slaved away in a cramped reception hall kitchen preparing an all-star cavalcade of enticing entrees’ while the usual fare sat unused in storage, jealous of the treatment the “fancy” food was getting.

A few jokes and a smile in between the chaos, his staff rallied behind him and prepared for the worst. Later when the drinks were flowing, Arthur bought the first few rounds.

On a dare from a friend, he took home economics while in High School. His skill bloomed from childish dare into outright genius. At first, the teachers questioned his desire, and more bluntly, his sexuality. It wasn’t the norm for a freshman boy to be the curious chef. Quickly, all forms of social moray had been quelled. He had mastered how to cook everything a high school program could offer. Even his sewing and cleaning techniques were impeccable.

And with the cooking came the girls. So much for the biased social theory that only a faggot would take a home economics course. Like cooking, he mastered how to converse with the opposite sex. Being the only boy amongst a room of girls, Arthur soaked in their secrets. While other boys couldn’t look a particular girl straight in the eye without stumbling over his words, Arthur made no bones. They fawned over him, begging to take them out for a ride or to go grab a shake. Devilishly rubbing their breasts along his arm or letting him see panties from across the room, Arthur loved the attention of girlish cartoon hearts drawn around his name.

While he kept the clean exterior of the All American youth, he didn’t bother playing house with the faceless Jane’s who were hopelessly searching for their Dick. Arthur was busy making familiar with the girls from broken homes or the bad girls who wanted to fuck while their boyfriends were at football practice.

Today, as a grown man, the attention never stopped. Women chatted him up when they’d bump carts in the supermarket, astounded such a good looking young man wasn’t married with a nice wife. Men generally didn’t do the grocery shopping; he was in a world unto his own. They’d beg to set him up with a sister or cousin, or the occasional unhappy housewife would offer more than just nice conversation. More than once a lonely homemaker would march to his door wearing nothing but her overcoat. Sometimes he let them inside.

As always, he’d ask his neighbor, Roger, what was for dinner if he saw him standing at his grill when he got out of his car after a long day at work. Arthur didn’t like Roger, but he couldn’t be outright mean to him as they lived next door to one another, it was a simple marketing strategy when hiding secrets. There was no reason to actually like Roger; he was a disgusting pig who beat his wife regularly. He looked utterly Darwinian with a sloping brow and knuckle dragging tendencies. A fat grease stain of man whose fingers resembled sausage links and who’s body seemed to sweat constantly.

“Steak’s on Art, come on down if you don’t feel like cooking for yourself. Bea’s in the kitchen making all kinds of stuff, there’s plenty! I’ve got beer too!”

He did love that Roger always offered to cook. Everyone else expected him to do all the work. No one likes to take work home. Too bad he hated Roger.

Any time a neighbor held a cabana party, Arthur was first to get the phone call. He was quite the dance machine after a few cocktails. Another personal rule Arthur always stood by: Be fun. Everyone loves someone who is fun to be around. People are very trusting when the prospect of having a good time is possible. The ladies lined up to tango and Arthur was always the gentleman, ready to swing while the other men talked shop and spoke of archaic things no women could ever find interesting. While all the husbands sipped on beers, shamefully watching their wives, he played it cool as a fan. It wasn’t his fault none of the men wanted to dance.

Above all things in the world, his one true love was the tepid mistress. Jazz. She’ s the lover who kicks you out of bed for smoking after sex but begs you to fuck again. To think of a world without it seemed so bland and colorless. The fearless artistry coupled with a lover’s kiss that stains the soul. Arthur loved music; it was the one thing no one could ever take from him. When there was no one to scream at or listen to his hollow pangs of emotion, music was there. It was the depth, the moral anchor to his life, without it what could be left? Murder.

Standing at the helm of his backyard grill, Arthur looked over the meat laid out. Today, it was steaks cut from a young homeless lad. There was fresher stuff in the fridge but this would start to turn if not cooked soon. With a cooler full of beer, it was going to be a nice afternoon.

For two days, the meat soaked in a concoction of sweet and savory, the smells of the salts burning into the air made any passing mouths water with jealousy.

Piece by piece, he loved to hear the sound of meat tossed atop the open flame. The burning hiss as the heat turned the hunk of flesh into dinner. Only if someone else could appreciate all the work he’d put into this meal. It was going to be a damn near religious experience. The literal body to be savored and enjoyed instead of strictly consumed.

The annual block party was tomorrow. He did have plenty of human curing in the fridge and he could doctor something up. How would any of them know?

He could slip them on the grill and no one would be any the wiser. Everyone always trusts the chef’s judgment. People from all over came to eat what he decided was considered “good eating”.

Why not this? Why not open their minds?

Surely, the party could understand his desire to provide a quality meal.

The day of the block party, he sat in his lawn chair on Al and Betty’s driveway.

His eyes surveyed the suds of the beer sliding down the inside of the murky brown bottle.

Lost in the memory, he could remember it all, clear as day.

Perfume and blood.

A sneaky smile crept across his face, the kind boys get when seeing their father’s naked lady books for the first time. A dirty little secret. Al, his neighbor across and down three houses, sat next to him and continued to drone on about selling aluminum siding, again.

Al’s voice began to sound like the static from a radio far in the distance.

Arthur’s mind slipped into his memories.

Taking a slow cruise down a familiar alley in a not-so-good part of town, he noticed her. She said her name was Veronica. It was probably a lie. She appeared to be in her mid to early twenties, but her eyes told a much different story.

She had the look and body of a poor man’s Marilyn. A tangled mess of platinum blonde hair with eyes so dark they lacked definition of pigment. Thick in all of the right places, just the way men like women to be laid out. She was built like a fuck machine.

An angel who’d slipped off a cloud and landed in this pitiful alley amongst the loveless whores and junkies.

Rolling down the window, Arthur leaned out with a smile. She leaned in, smiling in return. Their elbows touched. Her gum smacked and popped as she spoke with a soft but scared voice:

“Say, you’re not the typical bum who wants to take a ride. What’s the deal pal? You a cop or somethin? You’re too cute for a girl like me. What are you doin’ out here? You should be at home with a nice dinner on the table waiting for you. Where’s your wife at? You gotta be a cheater or somethin’”

Her eyes beamed. He wasn’t the usual John she’d never fuck outside of the cash.

“Thanks, doll. You’re too nice. I’m just the regular lonely bachelor. I’d love to have a wife and the whole mess one day, but I’m fresh back from the war a few years. Then doing cleanup over in Paris, and ya know, just haven’t met the right missus, I suppose. I can’t just settle for anyone.”  He spoke with his clean, educated city tone while stroking her doll-like arm.

“Yea, I guess it takes time to meet someone right. Nobody wants to end up unhappy.” Sincerity crept across her face as she spoke.

Without discussing payment, she hopped in and directed him to her normal motel over a few blocks. Immediately, Arthur knew this was a fantastic sign.

Hookers are cutthroat businesswomen, cash up front and ask no questions. If they’ve got pimps forget about any discount.

Touching her hand, he could feel the blood under her skin, the tiny skeletal bones. Her eyes studied everything.

“This is a nice car, mister.” She said with admiration and a touch of envy.

“Thanks, it’s my pride and joy. I love this car.” Arthur answered truthfully.

“What are you, some kind of politician or something?”

“Me? Nah, I just know how to save my money and buy nice stuff.”

“Sure looks like it. My pops used to own a body shop. I love nice cars, always have.” Veronica listened with exacting attention to the low hum of the engine as the car cruised the streets.

“I’m glad you think mine is nice, I spent a lot of money to buy this ol’ girl but it was worth it. If you like cars you should have become a mechanic or worked in a drag pit, something exciting!

With a pause, she offered the best answer possible:

“Cars are too dirty. I’m a better fuck.”

His balls were shrinking and his dick was getting bigger. Pulling up to their location, he noticed the rank smell of piss as he opened the door.

“Gotta love this fucking city,” Arthur said, crinkling his nose at the cities stench.

“I’m used to it, trust me. But, beggars can’t be choosers, buddy.”

Grabbing his hand, she took the lead toward the room. The streets were littered with garbage that clogged the sewers and old, disgusting men who sat on the corner smoking reefer and drinking in between shouting at one another.

The motel was seedy with a hint of overdose growling in the vomitous décor.

The sign read “HOTEL LE MOYNE” in faded red-pink letters. The sound of the neon could be heard if you stood under it, the low hum and the cracking ebb and flow of the gasses trapped inside.

It was the typical cheap format with the rooms on the outside and a concrete walkway that joined everything. The front office was around the corner and down a bit.

Arthur imagined the kind of person who worked at the desk at this hour, in this neighborhood. It made his skin crawl to think of all the filth. He may have done unsavory things but at least he was clean.

They passed the social misfits with their catcalls about sex, along with a roar of laughter. He could smell their foul stenches and see rotten teeth hanging in their mouths. While she led the way his eyes never left her ass, watching the muscles in the cheeks move left and right. Pulling out her key from her purse, it was the kind with a big plastic medallion on the end, as a reminder.

The room was dingy, tiny and looked like hell. Everything brown, the walls looked like they had been painted with shit. Instantly, he noticed the smell.

Sometimes, you get so alone.

Posted in Uncategorized on August 25, 2010 by Robert Dean

Apparently I’ve been neglecting my blog for lack of anything to say. I don’t have some wonderful writing tips or how to get your twitter seen by the universe. So in lieu of some bullshit promises, I’ve done the only logical thing lately. Say nothing.

Nothing is going on aside from slowly writing a new book in between re-writes for this and that concerning Mr. Reilly. I finished my query last week and now I’m working on a synopsis once a few certain people get their hands on, will tell me it’s shit even though I sent it out a few times tonight. Shame on me.

Do not pay attention to the man behind the curtain.

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on July 30, 2010 by Robert Dean

The one good thing about having your own blog is that you can keep updating it with your new versions of the query you so much loathe writing. I seriously fucking hate writing these things. I’m terrible at it. Arthur is super complex and trying to describe him is really hard. Anyhow, someone leave some comments, or something. I’m going to go out and get drunk.

Lost inside the abstract noise of World War II in the Philippine jungle, something inside Arthur Reilly severs from reality. The bodies pile; the stench of death engulfs. Kill-by-Kill his hatred for the enemy of America becomes a slow love song of murder. As his M1 sends waves of bullets into the carnal husk of the Japanese, reality cracks with each squeeze of the trigger.

The screams of the killed coagulate the horrors of war and bleed into his dreamscape. Nightly he experiences scenes that cripple his mind: Children slaughtered, Nazi’s executing the innocent while the pope stands at mass of millions with crimson eyes and a fiendish smile. The four horsemen ride atop the clouds, wreaking havoc on the living world, spreading wraith on sinners as Arthur stands alone in a sea of suffering. Every morning as a new day starts, Arthur Reilly is less of a man with each jungle sunrise.

Back stateside he becomes head chef at Garrison’s, the swankiest joint in town. He feeds his city’s dignitaries and sleeps with its starlets, but Arthur has a secret. It’s been five years since the white flag was waved but Arthur has never stopped killing.

Not even close.

From a cheap Marilyn Monroe knockoff prostitute to a door-to-door salesman with a disgusting hairpiece and greasy smile, there is no framework for death. Killers in hockey masks stalk the woods for nubile young girls to gory results; Arthur kills while America sleeps, eats and mows the lawn. The ghost of a lover murdered in the Parisian catacombs haunts him. Living inside his memories, she refuses to go away.

As his psyche cracks from his inability to separate the dreamstate from reality, the body count swells. Murder becomes art. Fantasy blends seamlessly with reality and the brush strokes of the death seem all too familiar.

Arthur’s twisted world has a soundtrack. Death has a loud and abrasive score. Bebop is the sound of murder inside Arthur’s head.  When he hears music, his pulse changes. As a victim is attacked the wailing and rollercoaster pace of the music explains what homicide is. Louis Armstrong, with his golden sound and gritty, but soulful voice, is the voice of God while Miles Davis’s brooding tones act as the sound of pure evil. A simple change in musical phrasing could mean death. They say Jazz saved a nation, but it damned Arthur Reilly.

Between the roaring trumpets and saxophones in his mind, Arthur’s dreams offer more clues into his reality. Life in the big city kitchen is quickly becoming too much, the veil of sanity is lifting and it’s time to leave and head to the place where his dreams are real: the city of the dead, if only he can follow the clues inside and find it.

In the arms of nightmares is literary horror with vast elements of a page turning thriller. It’s written with respect to Brett Easton Ellis, Poppy Z Brite and Charles Bukowski’s take that humanity is not what it appears as much we’d like to pretend it’s got a lovely pink bow on top. It’s 93, 374 words and is completed.

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